


Words Left Unspoken

by ThereWillBeLuckOnThisHouseYet



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam is alive, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Gay, Happy Ending, Hunay, LGBTQ Character, Post-Canon, Romellura, Shadam, Voltron: Legendary Defender Season/Series 07 Fix-It, adashi, klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereWillBeLuckOnThisHouseYet/pseuds/ThereWillBeLuckOnThisHouseYet
Summary: That night, he said his usual goodnight to Adam at the memorial wall before heading off to bed with one thought on his mind.‘I wonder if he’s thinking of me too.’And Adam would think the exact same thing every night as he lay awake on a Galra prison cruiser that was yet to be liberated.





	1. 'I wonder if he’s thinking of me too.'

Shiro hadn’t had much time to mourn. When he first saw that nameplate on the memorial wall he’d wanted to cry. He’d wanted to scream or to beg for things to be different, but he did nothing of the sort. He’d just spoken a quiet apology and moved on. What else was he supposed to do? With the inevitable attack from Sendak and his troops, he couldn’t allow his mind to be rendered unstable with emotions. It was to be their most important battle, and he didn’t want to taint the outcome.

But even after Sendak was defeated, he hadn’t been given time to mourn once again. Haggar was still out there, and Voltron needed to be ready. Shiro felt horrible. Adam was probably looking down on him right now, feeling so disappointed that Shiro hadn’t even shed a tear after hearing about his death.

_Don’t worry, my love. I’ll do that soon._

And he did. Though it took a long time for him to reach that point. Haggar had attacked, but with the help of the Coalition as well as Earth’s defenses, Voltron and the Atlas had been successful in defeating her. The Galra Empire had truly fallen and peace had been returned to the universe once more. They were all free to live their lives without the fear of another attack.

Shiro was free to cry.

He spent hours upon hours just sitting in front of that godforsaken memorial wall, crying over all the things he’d pushed away for so long. Adam was truly gone and it was only now he was accepting it. He muttered many apologies for everything that had happened between them— muttered all the words that he wished he’d said to Adam, like just how much Adam had meant to him. He’d even gone so far as to whisper the words of that damned proposal he had planned, but discarded after their argument.

_“Don’t expect me to be here when you come back.”_

Call him naive, but Shiro had expected him to be there when he came back. Adam would see that Shiro was okay, and they could make up and move on with their relationship. They’d get married, maybe adopt a few kids, then grow old together. That was always Shiro’s plan. But of course things never fucking worked out for him, did they? All the hopes he’d had were ripped right out of his mind as soon as he stepped foot into the memorial room that first time, and he didn’t know if he’d ever find anyone he would have those same hopes for.

Shiro would find himself by the memorial wall more often than he wasn’t. Whenever he had free time, he’d go there and he’d talk to Adam. Adam would never talk back, but he was okay with that. Adam would always listen which meant he still cared. Shiro would wake up in the mornings and go there to greet Adam before breakfast, then if he didn’t have to work he’d be in there as well. At the end of the day he’d always tell Adam a summary of how things had been that day, then tell him goodnight before going off to bed.

Shiro knew everyone pitied him. Who wouldn’t? He could see it in their faces when he said he was leaving after training. He could see it in his cadets’ faces when he’d disappear after classes ended. He’d started teaching again after the war had ended, and he thought that maybe it would help him move on, but it did nothing of the sort. Adam had always been the better teacher, and Shiro often found himself striving to be as good so that Adam wouldn’t be disappointed.

At the start, he only ever went to the memorial wall alone. But the Paladins eventually decided that they’d given Shiro enough space, and started to join him as will. They only came one at a time, in fear that they would overwhelm him. Shiro was always grateful. At first, they only ever sat in silence, just listening to Shiro as he spoke about his day to the nameplate of the man he’d loved. But with time they started to speak up, hoping that it would help Shiro move on if he started to talk to someone else other than Adam.

_“You know, he was always my favorite teacher… besides you, of course. I used to always be really nervous, you know? Most of the other teachers would just yell at me and tell me to man up but he never did that. He’d just pull me aside and help me calm down. He’d tell me that everything would be okay. He said that he used to get really nervous as well, but he made a really good friend that he felt like he could say anything to… and if he ever got nervous he’d just go to him and they’d talk it out and he’d always feel better. I know he was telling me to confide in Lance, but I’m pretty sure he was talking about you when he said that because his voice went all soft and he smiled really sweet.”_

_“He was always telling me and Hunk off for goofing around in the back. We’d never listen though and to be honest, I’m surprised he didn’t end up kicking us out every lesson we had with him. But he’d always threaten to take it up with Iverson anyway, though he never did. I don’t think he ever really meant it when he told us off because he always had this really soft look in his eyes. He was cool like that. Thinking about it, maybe we reminded him of you guys when you first became friends…”_

_“He was the only person who knew about my secret at the Garrison. He could tell as soon as I stepped foot in his classroom but he never brought it up. He only asked me about it after class and… he got real quiet when I told him the reason behind my disguise. But instead of scalding me he just told me to keep up the good work and to tell him immediately if I ever found anything. I suppose Iverson didn’t tell all of the officers what had really happened either. I’d always go to him whenever I needed to vent after that and he’d always listen. Sometimes he’d vent back but that was always rare… I think he always had hope that you were still alive.”_

_“He would look after me while you were gone, you know? I guess he kind of just took up your role as my… carer of sorts. It never felt the same as having you there but I was always grateful nonetheless. He’d always try his best to get me out of trouble but he was never as good at it as you were. He apologized profusely when I was kicked out. I’m pretty sure he spent weeks trying to change Iverson’s mind afterwards but you know what the old guy is like. Stubborn as all hell. He gave up after a while and would just come visit me on his days off instead. It was nice to have the company but we never really talked much… he didn’t visit me for weeks when the news broke out about the Kerberos mission going wrong. I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t want to speak to anyone either. He eventually started coming back though. I felt kinda sorry for the guy because I could always see how hard he was trying not to cry when he looked at me. We still kept the talking to a minimum. You know, the generic stuff. How have I been? Or he’d ask if I needed anything. It was so hard for him to talk to me but I understood. He once told me that he saw so much of you in me and… yeah. That was a difficult day for the both of us. We started to talk more after that. I suppose we felt… connected in a way. Who would’ve thought that your death would bring me and him closer together, huh? I dread to think what he must have thought when I went missing too…”_

_“He made you really happy, didn’t he? I can see it in your eyes when you talk to him. The others have told me a lot about him and he seems like a really nice guy… I wish I could’ve met him. You deserve to be happy, you know? Perhaps it would be best to move on? Wait, no. I don’t mean it like that, it’s just… never mind. I hope you find someone who makes you feel the same way he did.”_

Someone who makes him feel the same way he did… Yeah, right. No one would be able to do that. Shiro was certain of that much. He understood what Allura was trying to say though and he knew she didn’t mean bad by it. She was just trying to help, like everyone else had been. Shiro had to admit that it was nice to talk to someone else— to talk to someone and have them talk back to him in return. He never stopped coming to the memorial wall though, his visits just got less frequent. He wouldn’t spend his entire free time there, but he would still go to say good morning and goodnight.

_“Good morning, my love. I hope all is well where you are. We have a fresh lot of recruits in today. Their first day. I know you were always so excited to meet the newbies. You always wanted to make a good first impression, didn’t you? Or was it more that you just wanted to add to the list of cadets that favored you over me, huh? It was always a competition like that, wasn’t it? I’ll be thinking of you today, my love. Not that I don’t do that everyday.”_

_“That was… one hell of a day. I mean, I’m sure you saw it but I know you want to hear it from me. Damn, the recruits just seem to get better every year, don’t they? The standards keep being raised but they keep on meeting them. Do you think we would’ve made the cut with standards this high? I like to think so… we would’ve just had to have worked harder to meet them. There was one kid that looked just like you, you know? It was uncanny… luckily I wasn’t the one speaking when I first noticed him or I probably would have just froze on the spot. Now that would have been embarrassing. I bet you would’ve loved to see that, huh? You’d always laugh whenever I embarrassed myself in front of people. You could be mean like that. I never cared though. I loved your laugh… but I’m going to bed, my love. I’ll see you in the morning and I hope you sleep well.”_

A fresh year at the Garrison. Shiro’s first full year of teaching since he returned to Earth. Adam would be proud of him. Or at least he hoped he would be. Even after so long being being part, and so long of Adam being dead, the other still meant just as much to Shiro as he had when they first got together. It was getting easier everyday to deal with the death but that didn’t mean Shiro would move on from him. He’d still cry himself to sleep sometimes, or he’d have days where he couldn’t bring himself to face a world without Adam in it. But he’d always fight through it since he knew that’s what Adam would have wanted for him.

_“Hi again. It’s me. Obviously. You must be tired of seeing me every day, huh? I’d hope not. I’m certainly not tired of seeing you every day. You mean the world to me, Adam. Which reminds me. Happy birthday, darling. I… I had plans for the next birthday of yours that we’d spend together. It was going to be after Kerberos, of course. I was planning on proposing you know? I had the ring and everything sorted out. I still have the ring, you know? The most beautiful diamond ring I could find for the most beautiful man I ever knew. It was going to be the best birthday… I was going to cook us dinner and we’d eat it on the Garrison roof while looking up at the stars. Just like our first date. I knew you’d love it. I only wish that you were here so we could have that moment. Just you and me beneath the starlight, without a car in the world. As it should be… we’re still going to celebrate your birthday. Not with a proper party or anything. What’s the point when the birthday boy himself is unable to make it, huh? It’s going to be me and the Paladins. We’re having a night in, ordering some food and watching some movies. It’ll probably end with us telling our favorite stories of you, which I’ll be okay with. I think a few tears are going to be shed tonight, but I don’t want your birthday to go uncelebrated. I’m sure you’ll be there. Just listening… like you always do.”_

It did end up being a good night in the end. Allura learnt more about the man that Shiro had fallen in love with, and the rest of the Paladins had fun telling stories about all of their shenanigans that Adam had ended up dealing with. Shiro had cried, just like he thought he would. But that didn’t matter, because he’d enjoyed himself. It was so much better than spending the day locked in his room alone. And he felt like there was a weight lifted from his chest. It was so much easier to think about Adam, and now he could do such a thing without feeling so sad afterwards. That night, he said his usual goodnight to Adam at the memorial wall before heading off to bed with one thought on his mind.

_‘I wonder if he’s thinking of me too.’_

And Adam would think the exact same thing every night as he lay awake on a Galra prison cruiser that was yet to be liberated.


	2. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So sorry for not updating in so long, I’ve been really busy with exam prep. I hope you enjoy!

‘ _Just one breath. Good. Relish it. You don’t know if you’ll be able to take another. Perfect. Now blink. You’re doing well. Just repeat.’_

Adam was certainly struggling, there was no doubt about that. He didn’t know how long it had been— all sense of time had flooded away from him as the days, months, maybe even years rolled on.

He had nothing.

Why was he even still alive? He was supposed to die in that fight, he knew that. No one was supposed to survive. He’d been scared when he was first given the order to go out but… if he died, he’d be with Shiro sooner, and that was all that mattered. Except that didn’t happen. He’d expected pain when that beam had hit him, but he’d felt nothing. Everything was numb, and then everything was black.

He woke up here.

Initially, Adam hadn’t known what ‘here’ was. But he definitely found out with time. Aliens, the same kind as those that had attacked Earth and brought him here. This was a prison of theirs, and he was a prisoner. He’d asked if there were any other humans here, but he’d been told no. Which didn’t make sense to him. Why the hell was he the only one left alive from that fight? Surely… surely there were others? Yet apparently not. He was told he served a purpose, and when he asked, the answer made no sense to him.

‘ _We have seen you in the Black Paladin’s mind. You are important to him. You are to be the downfall of Voltron.’_

The Galra, they were nicer to him than the other prisoners, but that didn’t mean they were kind. He served a purpose, so he was left alive. They still took every opportunity they could to tear him apart, throw him around, leave him lying in a pool of his own blood. As long as he was kept alive, what happened to him didn’t matter.

So they tortured Adam. For the years he spent away from Earth, torture was the only thing he knew. Hence why he had to force himself to breathe, to blink. Everything was a hardship, and every passing second made things worse.

He had so many questions that remained unanswered. Why hadn’t they used him for whatever it was they needed him for yet? Everyday he saw prisoners being marched off to fight to the death, so why not him? Who even was this damned Black Paladin and why was Adam important to him? He’d never met a Black Paladin in his life. He just didn’t understand.

He wanted to die.

As morbid as it sounded, that was the one thing he wished for everyday. He wished that the Galra officers would forget to keep him alive and go just that little bit too far. He wished he was able to just let go. He wished he could be with Shiro again. There was so much he wished he’d said to Shiro all those years ago, when Shiro was still alive. As well as the things he wished he hadn’t said. Adam was always going to be there when Shiro came back, despite what he’d told him. He would’ve welcomed Shiro back with open arms no matter what. Saying all of that was just a desperate plea for Shiro to stay, for his Takashi to stay with him. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to tell Shiro that he loved him. He wanted to just see Shiro again, even one last time.

As time went on, he became used the beatings from the Galra. He became used to the constant pain, the silence, the loneliness. It gave him time to think properly. To realize that Shiro wouldn’t want him to die, even if it meant they ended up together in the afterlife. Shiro wouldn’t want that. He would want Adam to live the best life he could without him, even if it meant moving on. Adam wished he could, but there didn’t seem much chance of him getting that anymore.

Until nearly five years after he’d been taken from Earth, though of course Adam didn’t know how long the passage of time had been.

Hope. He hadn’t felt such a thing in a long time. He didn’t even hear the full conversation but it was enough to grant him the hope that he needed to carry on. Perhaps he had been mistaken, but he didn’t care. Too long he had spent waiting for something other than the thought of Shiro to keep him going. Now he had it, he wasn’t going to let it go.

‘Enemy forces… we’re simply not strong enough anymore… the empire is falling.’

He never thought he would leave this hell. He never thought he would escape these demons known as the Galra that had held him captive for too long. His escape was nearing and soon he would be free. Free to go home, free to live in as Shiro would have wanted him to.

He hoped.

He hoped for the first time in a long while. Weak and alone, all hopes of escape had left him. Though he had regained it from those mere shards of a conversation. Cracked whispers that he was certain he wasn’t supposed to hear.

Someone was coming for him, for everyone else here too. They could all escape and go home to their families, if their families were still alive, of course. They’d be happy again. They’d live their lives again. Maybe Adam would be able to do that too, he’d just need the time to adjust to life back on Earth… to life without Shiro once more.

The Galra had said the enemy forces were coming, and they did.

Adam had been lying on the cold metal floor when they did, counting every breath, every blink, just in case it was his last. He could hear the Galra rush into battle, he could hear the fight, he could hear the defeat. Everything was silent for a moment. Not a single breath passed his cracked lips.

Then the uproar came. He was too weak to move so he couldn’t even think about trying to see what was going on, but he could hear it. As vivid as he’d heard the brief battle, he could hear the voices of unfamiliar beings. The Galra were gone, and these so called enemy forces had taken over the prison cruiser. The sweet song of a stranger's voice was refreshing, it was music to his ears. The prisoners shouted too. Shouts of joy, shouts of victory, shouts of freedom. They were ecstatic, and Adam was too. Though he didn’t have the energy to show it. He still counted his breaths, counted his blinks. There were no Galra to keep him alive now, only these enemy forces. It would be too easy to let go, and he was trying so hard to keep himself alive for Shiro.

The voices didn’t make sense to him. He heard several different languages from several different species as they ran past his cell, making sure they found every last prisoner. But one voice stood above the rest. They spoke English. It was either that he was imagining things, or that was a human. A human with a surprisingly familiar voice. He could have sworn he’d heard that voice before, but he just couldn’t figure out where. He listened as hard as he could for the voice, trying to pin it to a face as it grew louder and softer as they ran through corridors.

Adam let out a particularly loud gasp of breath when he realized he’d focused so much in the voice to the point he’d forgot to keep counting his breaths. But that gasp wasn’t enough. It was steady before, but now he just couldn’t get any air into his lungs at all. Tears sprung to his eyes. This was it. This was the moment where he’d die. And he was so close! He was about to be rescued but he’d slipped up and now he couldn’t breathe and—

The footsteps stopped outside of his cell, the human voice called out an order, his cell was opened.

“Adam…?”

No… no, no, no. This couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be happening. He was hallucinating. A lack of air was making him see things, even his own imagination being blurred by his lack of glasses. But the shape of that face was so familiar. The mess of brown hair was longer than he remembered, though it seemed to be tied back in a ponytail. The figure was lacking glasses too, which was an odd thing for Adam to see. Adam had always thought that in his final moments, the one he yearned for most would be the one to take him across to the afterlife.

So why was Matt here instead of Shiro?

A hand touched his face and he flinched. Every inch of skin was so bruised and beaten that even a gentle touch like that was enough to cause him immense pain. Though he didn’t flinch because of that pain, he flinched because the touch meant that Matt was real. The touch meant that Matt was alive, which meant… Shiro could still be alive.

Shiro could still be alive… Adam felt on the verge of passing out, from both the realization and the lack of air. Shiro could still be alive, and Adam wasn’t there to be with him. He felt horrible for that. He felt horrible for the fact that Shiro might be alive, thinking that Adam was dead… maybe if Adam held on they’d be able to see each other again. Maybe he could… maybe…

Adam closed his eyes and fell limp, much to Matt’s dismay.

“No! No, Adam! You’ve got to stay with me here! Please, we need you to come home! Please… Shiro needs you...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter! Please let me know what you think so I can improve in the future.
> 
> Tumblr: @therewillbeluckonthishouseyet


	3. Don’t Give Me Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait. I just haven’t really had the motivation to write anything for a while, so I certainly hope this suffices. Enjoy!

Matt had always felt partially responsible for Shiro’s loss of Adam. He felt like he should have done something to stop Shiro going to Kerberos, to convince his father that they didn’t need Shiro to come with them… that someone else would be okay too.

Shiro would have stayed with Adam. The two of them would likely have fought in the same battle against the Galra when it came, and the two of them would likely have died together too.

Somehow that seemed like it would have been a better outcome than reality. It seemed like it would have been better than Shiro coming home to Earth only to discover that his love was dead, that he was alone. It seemed like it would have been better than having to face every day whilst seeing Shiro so hurt.

Matt thought, hoped even, that Shiro would find it easier with time. But that didn’t seem to be the case.

Matt felt partially responsible, and he hated himself for it.

So when Matt and the Coalition had liberated that final Galra prison cruiser, when Matt had heard a gasp that sounded too human, when he made his way into a cell to see none other than Adam lying there on the floor? He couldn’t believe his eyes.

Adam was clearly dying, but Matt was too shocked to even take another step forward. The man’s hair was much longer and matted with dried blood. In fact, every inch of him seemed to be covered with blood, new and old, as well as scars littering the skin too. No glasses… he had no doubts that they had been smashed long ago. But that face, even with all the scars and the blood, that face was definitely Adam’s. This was definitely Adam.

He was only snapped out of it when Adam’s eyes fell shut.

Adam was dying right in front of him, and Matt hadn’t made a move to help.

“No! No, Adam! You’ve got to stay with me here! Please, we need you to come home! Please…”

Matt had surged forward, his hands trembling as he tried to figure out something to do. He’d faced many newly liberated prisoners dying in front of him because they were too weak to carry on, but this was different. This was different, because he knew the prisoner. The prisoner was Adam, and Matt couldn’t let him die. Not when they just found him, and certainly not with Shiro back home.

Matt knew he wouldn’t be able to tell Shiro that they had found Adam, only for him to die. Matt would never forgive himself for it, and he knew it would only hurt Shiro even more.

So Matt did the only thing he could, and scooped Adam into his arms. From there, he just ran. The other coalition members could help the other prisoners, Matt’s priority was the dying man in his arms. There were healing pods on board of their ships. Nothing special as they weren’t enough to actually heal someone, but it was certainly enough to keep someone alive. And that was what Adam needed right now, to stay alive. Matt needed him to stay alive… and Shiro definitely needed him to stay alive because Matt knew he wouldn’t be able to handle losing the man he loved again.

He ignored shouts from his team as he ran to the ship, because he just couldn’t care. He ran and ran until he made it on board and to the room with the healing pods, and then he very quickly placed Adam into one of them.

Anxiously, he waited.

His breathing was heavy and his eyes were desperate as he stared at the pod’s screen, watching as it scanned Adam for injuries… for any sign of life.

That was where Matt started to panic. It was scanning Adam for some sign of life, and Matt was beginning to think he’d been too late. Was he too late? Was Adam truly gone? How the hell was he supposed to explain this to Shiro? How the hell was he supposed to—

The pod stopped scanning, and the screen changed to display Adam’s vitals. They were weak, but they were there.

Adam was alive.

~~~

Shiro had received the report that the Coalition has reached the final Galra prison cruiser, but from there he had gotten nothing. He didn’t mind, because he trusted the Coalition to do their job well. But he had to admit, it felt like such a relief to know that the universe was finally rid of the Galra’s rule entirely. There were no more cruisers, there was no more Galra territory.

Balance had been restored to the universe and everything was good.

That was what Shiro kept telling himself, yet for some reason he couldn't see it that way. He knew it was because of Adam but he didn’t want to admit that to anyone, because he knew how selfish it sounded. He expected that the feeling wouldn’t die away anytime soon, and he’d just have to live with it.

What he wasn’t expecting, was days after the report came in about the cruiser, was for Matt to come running into his office.

“What have I said about knocking?” Was all that Shiro said, not even looking up from the paperwork he’d been filling in.

But no answer came, and the only sound he could hear was the heaving breaths that Matt seemed to be taking.

Shiro glanced up, and the look on Matt’s face seemed to make his chest tighten. He seemed panicked, perhaps even a little scared. But from a closer look, he seemed… happy? Shiro was certainly confused, and was about to ask what the hell was going on until Matt spoke one word. One word that left Shiro feeling as though he was going to throw up.

“Adam.”

Shiro shook his head, taking a deep breath as he tried to remain somewhat calm. “Don’t give me hope,” was his reply, the words low and cutting, laced with an anger that was so deeply rooted that even Shiro didn’t know where it came from.

But Matt just heaved another breath, rubbing a hand over his face as though to calm himself, then spoke up again. “The infirmary. Go. You know I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this.”

Shiro did know, and he was up and out of his seat straight away, sprinting through the myriad of corridors that were standing in his way of Adam. He didn’t know when he’d started crying, but he could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks as he rushed to the only place he needed to be.

He seemed to be expected, as the startled nurse that greeted him merely led him through to one of the more private rooms. It wasn’t too lavish, but it was nicer than some of the wards in the infirmary. There was an empty bed by the window, pristine sheets completely untouched as though waiting for a specific someone to lie between them. A specific someone that stood in the healing pod on the other side of the room.

Shiro’s legs shook as he approached, his hand gently gracing the glass as though it would shatter at the slightest touch. Because behind that glass was the man that Shiro had longed to see again for years, behind that glass was the man that Shiro had always dreamed of growing old with. That dream had been ripped away from him when he’d returned to Earth, but now it was slowly rekindling. Because behind that glass was the man that Shiro had begged to see just one last time.

Adam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave a comment to let me know what you think. 
> 
> Again, I apologize for the lack of content, but I have hope that there should be more coming soon.
> 
> My tumblr is @therewillbeluckonthishouseyet, feel free to ask me anything you want there!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fanfic that I’ve posted on line so a thoroughly hope you have enjoyed it!
> 
> If you wish to send me a message feel free to do so on my tumblr, which is @therewillbeluckonthishouseyet. My ask box is always open!
> 
> Thank you so much again!


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